So, it's Mental Health Week and also World Mental Health Day today and I decided to share something about my mental illness which is depression coupled with anxiety.
I admit I was not diagnosed by a professional yet but I was able to learn that what I have was something that would not disappear overnight. When I look back to all of my teenage years and early adulthood all I could see was everything is bleak with a drop of sunshine here and there. You might know what depression is but you might not know what it feels like if you haven't experience it yet and I really hope you will never ever experience it. It was the worst thing ever. Imagine getting sad for a day. What a bummer right? But imagine getting sad and miserable for more than a day, for weeks, for years. Having depression is like living but deep inside you're dead. You don't find the joy in the things you love to do before. You can't find joy in everything. Maybe you can but it's short-lived.
Then there's the stigma. A lot of people get annoyed easily when a person tell something about their feelings of sadness and the things that are weighing then down. They brush them off saying they are just attention-seekers. When you have terminal disease you will be still taken care of and people will find you inspirational when they see you trying to fight it with your might or live through it. But no one will find a depressed, suicidal person inspirational. No one find people who are fighting for their life because of this mental illness, who are trying their best everyday even though they are in the brink of giving up, who still get up from their bed even though they feel the pain in their heart, someone to look up to. Suicide is look upon as a selfish act, that it will just put pain to the suicidal's family but did they ever thought of the suicidal person's feelings? Of why they killed themselves? Where are these people condemning them when the suicidal people needs help? Who are the selfish one now? I'm not saying that suicide is the answer but I'm just tired of people who don't even know what they are saying about suicide. It's not the suicidal person's fault. It never is.
Well, this is just one of my observations. You can contradict me but the truth will still remain that having mental illness is still stigmatized. Many narrow-minded people will still not try understanding it or they will just brush it off or say things they thought is right even though whay they say is full of ignorance. Depression will not vanish once a person started thinking of nice things, it will not vanish by just pushing yourself to be happy so don't ever tell a depressed person to move on, get over it and be happy. Don't be a jerk. Don't you dare use religion too to put guilt on the person like telling that suicide is a sin or thinking of suicidal thoughts is something bad. Having suicidal thoughts is a sympton of depression and a number one sign that the depression is already bad. A depressed person is already full of guilt and self-hatred. Why add to that pile?
What can you do then? You can help a depressed person if you have the passion to search about what depression or other mental illness is and of course you need to understand them. There are a lot of articles on the internet that are helpful for someone who knows a friend or family members who have depression. A depressed person needs someone who will never give up on them. Someone who is patient, someone who will give them hope to start over again no matter how many times they relapsed and not make them feel guilt. Don't be someone who just want to try helping a depressed person just because you view it as a self-fulfillment and leave when you can't do it anymore because you got tired of dealing with the shit. Depression is shit. It will not disappear easily. I discovered this website
where the artist posts comics about depressed people and the people around them. It's really an eye-opener.
Mental health is important and if ever you're suffering it is better to get professional help immediately. Easier said than done, I know. I am one of those people who still haven't gotten that kind of help I need. There are many reasons and number one of them I admit is financial needs. Why not find a job then to support my needs? Well, it's like this. I need a job to treat my depression but I can't have a job because of my depression. Did you get it? Why not ask my parents for help then? Lol they are one of those people who are narrow-minded about this. They might know I hurt myself, that I'm depressed but they just used religion to me, told me to don't do it again. Yeah, my aunt tried guilting me to get off from this depression then my mom told me not to do it again, the self-harming like telling me not to be depressed again. My mother had disappointed me a lot of times now and it hurts a lot every time.
All I can say now to you who has depression or other mental illness is you're not you're mental illness and despite what you are going through your life is very important, you are important. You are so brave by just trying to live every day. You are not alone. So cliche, I know but that's the truth.
Whenever you can't bear what's weighing you down, expell that heavy feeling but don't hurt yourself. It will not help you. You will just feel shitty afterwards. If you feel like hurting yourself, distract youself instead. You can find some alternatives here
, and here
. Also, try seeking someone who you can talk to about your mental illness, it can be a family member or a friend who you can trust and someone who will understand you. If you are not comfortable with talking to someone close to you, you can try blahtherapy
, it's where you can talk to strangers who can understand you about your illness.
I know it's not easy to talk to someone especially when the first people you tried reaching to failed you but you have to keep on trying to connect with someone or some people who will be there for you. Don't give up just yet. You will find them.( Sharing my story. Tl;dr: just about me having depression for 10 years now and it contains mention of suicidal thoughts and self-harm so beware. It also has a little bit mention of happiness and hope.Collapse )